RUPAK D SHARMA
On January 28, I received an e-mail from my chief news coordinator asking me to cover the-then Home Minister Bam Dev Gautam’s health condition. He was suffering from heart and kidney related problems and from news reports I had come to know that he had just arrived in Thailand’s capital Bangkok. Since I was in Bangkok then, it was not difficult for me to find out the hospital he was admitted to and the room in which he was staying. But in the course of tracking his whereabouts, I also stumbled upon another piece of information: Former Deputy Prime Minister Shailaja Acharya was also undergoing treatment in the same hospital.
Shailaja had always been a mysterious figure for me. Although I had never gotten the opportunity to talk to her in person before, I had heard of her as someone who did not fear speaking her mind. That is probably why she was labeled ‘nuts’ by many when she publicly said political parties should team up with the king and not with the Maoists.
That was during the time when the movement against the-then king’s direct rule had reached its zenith and political parties were close to attaining their goal of turning Nepal into a republican state. Such a comment at a time when people were frustrated with the king was definitely not going to make her popular but her decision not to go with the flow made her stand out from the crowd. This was also one of the reasons why I wanted to meet her – to satiate all the curiosity I had regarding her personality and political ideology.
Next day, after trudging through the lobby and floors of the Bumrungrad Hospital, which looks more like a 5-star hotel than a place where people undergo treatment, I finally come to her room. I open the door but see a small, frail and aged figure with a boy-cut hair sitting in an armchair. Her hair had turned gray and her hands were resting uncomfortably on the arms of the chair. In fact, she was sitting there like a statue, with oxygen pipes plugged to her nose. And she was gazing at nothingness, as if she was lost in a vast abyss, unaware of her surroundings and what was going on around her.
“No, this can’t be, I must have entered the wrong room,” I said to myself and began walking out of the room when I heard “Bhai, Nepali ho? (Are you a Nepali?),” from a lady inside the room.
It turned out that I was in the right place and the lady who was calling me was Mita Acharya, Shailaja’s sister-in-law. But even then I could not believe my eyes: The sight of Shailaja was simply harrowing. She was no longer a lady with thick spectacles and long hair. And she was no longer the leader that I had known – the armchair she was sitting in and the frail figure had outstripped the recognition she had received when she had waved the black flag to King Mahendra during his direct rule and when she had resigned as the agriculture minister after being unable to put an end to corrupt practices there. The sight was too overwhelming – a reality of ageing, I guess.
Then Mita introduced me to her: “He’s a journalist; he’s come to interview you.” But Shailaja gave me a blank stare without uttering a word. She would nod her head at times as if she understood what her sister-in-law was saying and make some sort of guttural sound. That’s when I realized she had lost the ability to talk.
As I go on talking with Mita, Shailaja would just gaze at the television with her mouth wide open. I don’t know whether she understood whatever was being broadcast but her attentiveness made me convinced that at least her brain was still functioning. That was when I heard a loud guttural cry, “oooye”, from Shailaja which indicated she was agitated. It was actually a nurse who was trying to feed her some liquid diet. But Shailaja was trying to shove her away indicating she was not hungry or thirsty. As the nurse became more forceful, she succumbed. But the signs of irritation etched in her face clearly said she was not happy. After Mita calmed her with jolly demeanor, she felt more comfortable, but her eyes were already brimming with tears. I don’t know what she felt but most probably she was hurt – hurt because she was being forced to do what she didn’t want to.
Later when Mita told me that doctors suspected Shailaja of suffering from Alzheimer’s did the mystery behind her odd behavior start to unravel. I then came to know she was living in a shadow of an illness that ravages the brain and erases all memories. In fact, she was living in a world she no longer completely understood.
Her condition had worsened so much she wasn’t able to perform all the duties that an ordinary human being does. She had to be fed and taken to the toilet every now and then. Fearing she would soil her body with bodily wastes, such as urine and stool, nurses used to put diapers on her 24 hours a day. And before she went to sleep, the doctors used to put on artificial ventilator on her to support her respiratory system in case she forgot to breathe while sleeping.
All this was too upsetting. I had come there to know more about one of the prominent leaders of our country but ended up being even more confused about what pushed her to a condition in which she didn’t even remember her identity. Mita had told me it was depression, which had worsened, that led her to this stage. But what sowed seeds of depression in her in the first place?
After talking to Mita for a while, I bid farewell and walked out of the room but with a heavy heart and many of the questions still unanswered. She is no longer with us today but will all the mystery surrounding her disentangle?Published in Republica on June 20, 2009